New Zealand’s Amazing MP Speech

God Bless New Zealand!

Last wednesday they became the 13th country to legalise gay marriage!

And, if that doesn’t make you smile this Monday morning then just check out this video of one MP’s ideas of love, marriage and all things gay:

Now if that doesn’t give you tingles, you’ve a colder heart than even the great Regina George.

Not only did they legalise same sex marriage, but they did it in style and broke out in song afterwards… Suggesting that we may have Glee to thank for this recent turn around…

So, that’s 13 countries down, just around 180 to go!

Happy Monday everyone! 🙂

We’ve come so far…

Sometimes it feels like the gay struggle is still such a long road to equality.

But, when you consider how far we’ve come, it really makes you stop and appreciate all those that fought before us.

Thought for the day; divisions within our community make the fight harder- respect those that wear their homosexuality for all to see, those who don’t try to fit into the straight, hegemonic stereotype of masculinity.

We are a colourful bunch, and we owe more to those that wear those colours brightly.

Happy Monday queers! 🙂

Cabbage Soup Diet Review

Le Cabbage Soup Diet

Monday

Cabbage soup three times a day and all the fruit you can eat (except bananas)! Not too bad, this is going to be easy! Feeling slightly drained towards the end of the day but happy with my effort.

Tuesday

Cabbage soup, and today; all the veg you can eat as long as it’s not ‘starchy’. Woken up with a headache and a stomach that is growling for a cooked breakfast! Must prevail!

Visit to the gym today: After 10 minutes on the cross trainer my legs are shaking but I muster through and manage bench presses and a full four sets of dippy things on that machine thing… Exhausted! More soup and I’m allowed a potato today! Thank Beelzebub! Veg is no where near as appetising as fruit- bring on tomorrow!

Wednesday

Kill me now! My muscles ache from the gym and I’m about ready to throw the soup through the window!

MUST CARRY ON! I have lost two lbs already (probably water weight but who cares it’s two lbs!).

Brain function, non-existent.

Desire for bread or cake or ANY carbs: similar to a Zombie’s desire for flesh.

Thursday

I am Zombie. Today I am only allowed bananas and milk… weird.

Soup is all gone, must make more.

Muscles ache, must go to gym.

Lost another two lbs, must try to care…

Friday

Fell asleep at 8pm last night due to having absolutely no energy… Woke up this morning with a blinding head ache and sheer panic that I have completed nothing this week except starve myself.

Today is soup, tomatoes and beef (strangely). Must have faith the sicko that dreamt up this diet knew what they were doing…

As motivation I have been looking at people who eat live a raw vegan diet on YouTube- crazy hippy types that seem to enjoy the crazed mood swings I hate.

More motivation is derived from looking at thinner pictures of myself from 5 years ago…

Someone just pay for my lypo?

Saturday

Today I fucked the diet in the ass!

Started the day by staggering through the kitchen, in a starved trance, before face-planting into my housemate’s left-over Chinese from the night before.

I can honestly say something took over, and I had no clue what was happening until I surfaced for air, gagging on spring rolls.

Total weight loss: 6 lbs.

Mood: low.

Review: The results are there but it is tough! My muscles ache because I’ve had zero protein and my brain ceased it’s cognitive thought process completely by day 3.

I have some new found respect for those anorexic bitches! Next time, I’ll try Bulimia!

Gays should not be fat…

I am officially the heaviest I’ve ever weighed! EVER!

Now, as we all know, the only long-term affective solution for a fitter (and hotter) body is a good healthy diet and lots of exercise.

But, screw that! I am 13 stone 6 and desperate times call for desperate messures!

The desperate measure in this is instance is the ever effective, ever hideous, and ever stinky cabbage soup diet!

This basically involves brewing a huge cauldron of cabbage and other leafy green veg and eating not much else for a week- a glorified 7-day-anorexia if you will…

Luckily, I found a recipe that allows for certain snacks each day… Here goes…

Australia’s Pride Shame

I don’t know about you, but I’m no stranger to homophobia…

I’ve been called names on the street… I’ve had things thrown at me from cars… I’ve even had the shit kicked out of me by a gang of homophobic fuckwits in a nightclub.

After a while you just start to think: “All in a day…”

But, every-so-often, something pops up that really shakes you to your core. This time it’s the video footage of Jamie Jackson being brutally man-handled by the police at Sydney Mardi Gras.

This 18-year-old kid gets thrown around, slammed to the ground, and stepped on by a gigantic police man as he screams out “What is happening? Why is this happening?”

The sickening thing about this footage is that it shows the people that are employed to protect us from such attacks, on a day we come together to display our Pride, attacking us.

Our history is full of stories of police brutality against Gay people, from the Stonewall riots to the Outrage protests… But these days, call me an idiot, but you kinda expect the police to be on our side.

News reports claim that Jamie was being rambunctious and was intoxicated. The police claim he was resisting arrest. Onlookers say that before the camera starter recording the police man held Jamie against the wall by his throat.

Those of us familiar with gay culture would probably recognise Jamie to be a twink, maybe even a queen. We may take one look at Jamie skipping around in his hotpants, body painted with glitter, and instantly think that he is going to be cheeky, maybe rude, maybe obnoxious- but in that oh-so-endearing way cherished and almost encouraged on the gay scene.

These officers clearly have no understanding of OUR community. If there is one time kids like Jamie should be able to strut their stuff, and be as playful as they like, it is at Pride events (because God forbid we should act that way in the street).

“Police brutality” is probably the understatement of the century… Throw in a whole lot of ignorance and macho-bullshit and we’re getting closer to an accurate description…

I’m literally too angry to write any more…

Sad News

Just had some terrible news; my mum called this morning to say my Gran has died.

She was taken ill in the night and died at 5am this morning in hospital.

I’ve just finished packing my bag and am about to head to the train station to start the 4 hour journey back to my parents’ in South Wales.

I feel awful, as I’m sure many people can relate, I’m upset that she has died but more so I am incredibly sad for my father.

Some weird coping mechanism has kicked in where I am focused on tasks rather than emotion.

With my eldest sister in New Zealand, I’m instantly worried for her and how she is going to cope with the news.

Despite our ups and downs, we are the model of a close-knit family from a Welsh-mining village; incredibly close, and inextricably emotionally bound to one another.

With nearly all of my uncles and aunties living in the same street I grew up in, My Gran’s house was hub of family activity.

She was a true Grandmother in every sense of the word, with open arms, an open kitchen and always an open door, she embodied what I have learned about acceptance, love and family.

We called her Mamma and she will be deeply missed.

Crisis #1 Relationships

Traversing the world of gay relationships is hard enough at any age, but fuck it gets harder the older you get.

Brought up in a straight world that cherishes the idea of fidelity, marriage and procreation, the gay scene often seems to embody the antithesis of these ideals.

Being denied marriage, and unable to naturally procreate (in my view the only reason most marriages last so long anyway) you start to wonder if gays were meant to live monogamous lives.

We also have less choice in prospective soul mates than our straight counterparts, of course. Truth is, there are fewer of us, and inevitably the ‘scene’ becomes incredibly incestuous.

As you get older, recycling becomes inevitable. Steve is shagging Robert, who used to date Paul, who recently shagged Mark in a sauna who was Steve’s first love.

By the age of 23 I started to believe that in order to maintain a long-term relationship I would have to seriously reconsider some of the things I thought I wanted from a relationship.

Maybe, monogamy just wasn’t sustainable in a gay relationship. I didn’t know one couple that hadn’t cheated on the other at some time.

Maybe, children were just never going to be in my future. I could definitely never afford a surrogate and adoption seemed unachievable. Although I have a very good friend who offered to carry a baby for me, I couldn’t imagine putting her through that, and the possible emotional battles terrified me.

Whether or not I was becoming a sensible, forward thinking adult challenging enforced societal ‘norms’ or compromising my beliefs to achieve a relationship is a thin line, and I’m not sure of the answer.

Some people believe the true reason they are on this Earth is to find love and live happily ever after. Job done.

Disney sold us this idea. And we lapped it up almost unconsciously. The franchise finally (incredibly belatedly) created a Black Princess but the story line stays the sanme- ultimately it’s finding a Prince to love that saves her life.

It will be a very long time (if ever) before Disney produces a movie where the strapping Prince escapes the confines of the castle and lives happily ever after with the stable boy.

Where are our role models?

If women are from Venus and men are from Mars, is it possible for two Martians to successfully skip through the stars together for the rest of time?

It may be that as marriage equality finally seeps into law, the status quo may start to even out and us gays will start to just emulate straight relationships.

It is my hope however, after many years of pondering this, that ‘us gays’ find our own normal.

My straight girlfriends talk about finding the man of their dreams and then emotionally castrating him- one, already married, often freaks out if her husband even looks at another girl.

At 28, I find myself in the craziest set up of all. I have managed to find a man I love and maintain a relationship for 5 years.

We are not married, civil partnership isn’t even a question on our minds, and at the moment we must live on opposite sides of the world.

It’s not the perfect Disney relationship I was taught to desire as a child. But, I am happy and I am secure in the knowledge that he is also.

I know that we will be together for as long as this stays the case; that may be the rest of our lives, it may not.

My advice to fellow Martians is to embark on that galactic journey by making your own map. Ultimately, only your rules will work for you, and hopefully together you can create your own guidebook for your perfect relationship.

And, as the great Ru Paul says:

If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gunna love somebody else?

Can I get an Amen?!

1ROYGBIV - Rainbow Zebra